Learn how to “Say No” & Stand your Grounds


Nowadays, many of us continue to say yes to the things which we ought to be saying no to. Many feel obligated to say yes when asked to do a task or follow certain activities because they lack the will power or feel pressured to please the parties involved. The pressure of saying yes is contributed by several factors such as trying to belong, peer pressure, fear, people pleasing and trying to be seen a certain way. The lord is not pleased by these actions. We need to understand the power we have. We should not be pressured by anyone, people or ourselves to say yes to the things we ought to be saying No to. This actions kill us spiritually daily. Know who you are in the Lord and stand your ground like Daniel (Daniel 1:8).

“But Daniel made up his mind that he would not defile himself with the king’s choice food or with the wine which he drank; so he sought permission from the commander of the officials that he might not defile himself.”

Many of us say yes to things that will harm us spiritually. Many of us say yes to the things that God has forbid us from doing. Many of us say yes because we want to follow the Babylonian system. Some say yes because they lack the will power to turn away from it. But we are of the Spirit, therefore we should not conform just because its pleasing to man or the flesh. Romans 12:1 clearly tells us that we should not conform to the ways of the world. Proverb 1:10  says “My son, if sinners entice you, Do not consent.” Therefore, we ought not to consent to such things that will lead us astray. We have to be wise in our ways; “Wine is a mocker and beer a brawler; whoever is led astray by them is not wise” Proverbs 20:1. Therefore, before agreeing to anything, we need to ask ourselves questions such as

Is it acceptable to God? Does it conform with the word of God?

What is my motive or what are their motives?

Does my service in this help anyone? Is this going to cause any harm?

Am I actually ready to do this?

Now, if you are asked to do something that you are not willing to do or that you know is wrong in the sight of God,  you need to first pray about it; Respectfully say no and do not try to explain because this may cause you to be tempted to fabricate stories. You are not to make up stories, if you have a reason, just state it truthfully. Stand firm, because some people will try to guilt you into agreeing. Don’t say yes because someone once helped you out , so now you feel obligated to do same. James 2:1  says “My brothers, show no partiality as you hold the faith in our Lord Jesus Christ, the Lord of glory.”

As we walk with Christ, we ought to understand who we are, and hold steadfast to the faith. We have to Set our boundaries and the limits we will not cross. Let our yes be yes, and no be no. We owe no one explanation because we are responsible for our actions. Finally,  we have to live our lives by the example of Christ. Titus 2:11-14 says

 For the grace of God has appeared that offers salvation to all people. It teaches us to say “No” to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright and godly lives in this present age, while we wait for the blessed hope—the appearing of the glory of our great God and Savior, Jesus Christ,  who gave himself for us to redeem us from all wickedness and to purify for himself a people that are his very own, eager to do what is good.” (NIV).


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